Affirm your children more than you discipline them.
The presence of affirmation and encouragement are incredibly important in the life of your children. Affirmation and encouragement should be far more present than discipline. In fact, the more there is affirmation and encouragement, the less will be the need for discipline.
Here are some helpful hints on how to affirm your children.
- Watch for praiseworthy behaviors and praise it. Be careful not to overdo it. Don’t praise every little thing or the act of praise will become meaningless.
- Praise immediately. Affirm them as soon as you see it. Make sure your children know why they are being praised.
- Look your children in the eye when you affirm them. This helps speak into their souls. They are more prone to accept your words if you are looking at them.
- Touch your children appropriately. Hug them, pat them on the back, touch their arm or some other appropriate means of contact communication. Praise is more powerful when accompanied by an appropriate touch.
- Be specific in your praise and affirmation. If your child took their plate to the kitchen sink after dinner without being instructed to so do, affirm them for taking their plate as opposed to saying that they are a good child.
- Don’t follow up praise with negative comments. Allow the affirmation to sink in without clouding it with a negative remark. For example, don’t say something like this: “I’m so proud of you. You shared your toy with your sister. You are usually so selfish.”
Affirmation and praise is a powerful thing. It can be tool for helping your children to grow to be more like Jesus.
Something to think about…