Ingredient #5 of a Sound Marriage

Ingredient #5 – Commitment

Marriage is all about commitment. It’s about keeping a promise made at a wedding ceremony years ago. 

The Bible says, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”  Genesis 2:24

One flesh is all about commitment.

Today, as in years gone by, people bail on marriage because they discover that they are incompatible. The term used is “irreconcilable differences”.

If marriage depended on compatibility rather than commitment, there would be no lasting marriages on earth.

Paul Tournier, the Swiss psychiatrist who wrote the book Understand Each Other, says that "So called incompatibility is a myth invented by jurists in order to make a plea for divorce. It is likewise just a common excuse for people to hide their failings. Misunderstandings and mistakes can be corrected if there is a willingness to do so." 

Dr. Paul Popenough is the director of the Institute of Family Relationships.  He's written dozens of books on marriage. He says, "I don't believe incompatibility exists.  Almost any two people are compatible if they try to be." 

Incompatibility and irreconcilable differences reveal a heart of selfishness and stubbornness. It’s saying, “I'm not willing to change. I'm not willing to give or give in. You’re not going to change and I’m not going to change. We're both selfish and we're both stubborn.”

Commitment is a helpful antidote to the syndrome of incompatibility. We make a promise and we keep a vow no matter what.

Our marriage is what we make it to be starting with a resolute commitment to stay with it. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence nor is the grass greener on this side of the fence. The grass is greener wherever you water it. 

If we would take all the energy we use complaining about our marriage and all the energy we use comparing our marriage to others and focus on watering our own marriage, our marriage would be a whole lot better.

Start with commitment. We made a promise on our wedding day. Let’s keep it.

Something to think about…